Thursday, September 23, 2004

Pregnant Nun?

I Need To Change.

First of all, I need to stop doing this thing where I am all excited about stuff when I first start them and then I stop caring at all soon after that and I end up procrastinating and procrastinating and stressing myself out and hating the very thing I was excited about in the first place.

Second, I need to become a nun or something. Ill just commit my life to the Lord and he can make men invisible to me or some such. Well, Im not entirely sure that will work, I want babies, like twelve of them, and I cannot do that by myself. Well, okay, I can. Adoption. Invitro fertilization. Oh, and Im not catholic. But you get the idea.

Because you see, when it comes to boys, all my self esteem goes right out the window. Well, that's not to say that my self esteem is present at all other times.

I go back and forth with my relationship with God. I guess this is evident from my poetry. More often than not, my poems are for Him. Well, again, not entirely true. I write poetry for me, they are an expression of me. And I can say "you" and mean God in the first stanza and my brother in the second stanza and they boy I like in the third and . . .

Im so. . . Inconsistent.

And right now I am not happy with myself because I should be doing homework. And that, I will go do now.

1 comment:

your unmocking spoof said...

well if inconsistency is a problem...
then i've definately got a problem :P

i've heard on some sciency show that it is possible for a human female to spontaneous produce a child. it is exceedingly rare, but may be true...i don't know how valid the information on the show was...