Saturday, September 04, 2004

Good Day, Ma Lady.

So I saw all manner of Lords, Ladies, Gypsies, Belly dancers, Pirates, Vikings, Swordsmen, Elves, Fairies, and just nasty today. I wanted to be a Lady, wearing hoop skirts and all, but I am pretty sure that I would be a commoner. I did get to wear my corset today. That was very nice. My corset makes me feel pretty. But, I did start feeling a little sick toward the end of the day. I think that might have been a combination of corset, black velvet skirt, shift, sun, and lack of food. Anyway, I feel just fine now in my cool bedroom in my pajamas.

My glasses are really dirty. This is very distracting. I will go clean them.

Wow, its like I am not even wearing glasses. So, I guess the world isn't covered in random streaks.

I mostly just like the clothes. I wouldn't really want to go back in time or anything. I would just want to wear the pretty dresses around all the time.

I must have slept well last night because I don't remember my dream. No, that's not it. I did not sleep well at all. I remember my dreams when I wake up before the alarm; today, I did not. I guess that when I am awakened by the alarm, it is just too sudden a transition from sleeping to waking. I do not dream when people sleep with me either. I mean, when I sleep in the same room with other people like on vacations, sleep-over, staying all night and such. I do not sleep deeply because I am always aware of the other persons presence, unless I am really comfortable around the other person, like Ashley. Does anyone know me better than you?

My mom would say that she does. She knows what I do, how I behave, what my routines are, my favorite foods, movies, ect. But, I do not tell her why I do this or that, or how I feel about this or that. Well, I don't know. We have spells when we sit up all night talking about stuff, when I feel safe enough to tell her something. Then, inevitably so goes and tells someone else what I said. And I get so mad. She says, " I only told grandma" Well, if I wanted to tell grandma, I would go talk to her myself. Broken confidence. And that is why these spells are so far between.

I was going to tell you how I was about trusting someone again once trust has been broken, but I do not even know. My mother is my only example, and everything is different with her. I don't like her very much sometimes, maybe as often as not, but I love her very, very much.

I keep getting distracted from what I am writing. Everything I have written is fragmented and incomplete. Just a reflection of my thought process, I suppose.

Excitement again tomorrow too. Fair at New Boston. I hope to buy something pretty.

Im going to do some other stuff and post again later, I think. I need to roll this new thing around in my head for a bit.

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