Friday, September 17, 2004

Mourning me.

Mom and Dad are watching one of those good guy vs. bad guy, shooting, stuff blowing up, cop and criminal movies. I just hate those. I cant wait for it to be over so we can watch the scary movie. Last night I watched one and I had to make sure I kept my jaw locked closed so that I did not bite my tongue during the scary parts (cus you know, I only pretend to be brave, I would rather have someone to hold on to.)

I lost a poem. Still haven't found it. I remember the end

I am thankful
that the stars
and the sky
have left me alone
with her tonight.

And I remember the beginning now:

The sky
and space
are nonexistent tonight
I could reach out
and dip my fingers
in the moon.

And the middle:

I am floating toward
the life-giving fire.

But there is so much more. I mourn me, because that's what I have lost here. A shard of me. Part of my broken mirror from freshmen year poetry contest. Ah, I am so inspired by my peers. Some great poets : Pappy Venturella, Laura Runyan, and Justin Teager, I think. That was him, right? At last years poetry reading thing? I think so anyway.

Hmm, my bedroom door just opened itself. Scary.

Anyway, it was a boy, sitting to my left, over there further away from the door than I was. His poems were in a notebook. I cannot see a face now, I forget. I thought it was Justin Teager. But I do remember Laura Runyan and her poem about the sea. And I remember Pappy Venturalla, his poems were always very different, and it made me feel conventional, ordinary. I wanted to be unique too.

Anyway, um, I just wanted to say to these people, I enjoyed your poetry.

Yeah, I wont say anymore for fear of being weird. I just appreciated them, my peers.

Im gonna go now, watch a scary movie.

and another line from that poem I forgot:

the blackness
of the great beyond.

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