Sometimes Speechless

Sometimes I speak to you in poetry, when I am afraid to say it plainly. Sometimes I speak to you in prose, because I want to remember what I say. Sometimes I speak to you in prayer, because you are the only one who would understand. Sometimes I speak to you in silence, because what I would say, you already know. Sometimes I do not speak to you at all, because I am weaker than I pretend to be. Sometimes when I speak to you, it is because I think you are the only one listening. Sometimes I speak to you because I do not truly believe you exist. Sometimes I speak to you and I really mean me. Sometimes I speak to you and I really mean he (those things I fear to say to him) Sometimes I speak to you because I only want to talk. Sometimes I speak and say "you" and I do not mean you at all. Sometimes I mean everyone. Sometimes I mean no one. Sometimes I mean the one I have not yet met. Or the one that does not exist. Sometimes, I do not know what I am saying. Sometimes I am afraid of me, all the secrets I could tell about myself. It scares me that my secrets, all you know. A song once said that you would love me "even when you come undone" and that, leaves me speechless.