Sunday, July 04, 2004

Whispered in my ear.

Today I have this heavy feeling right here in my chest. This is doubt saying that what I am will never be good enough. That if I let people in, they will never love what they see. That everytime I open up, Im going to get burned. That people will always be too insensitive, they will always hurt me, they will always disappoint me.

Im telling you this and it scares me as I write. Because, I know this feeling well. I have been here before and I don't plan on staying long this time. I wont let doubt change my current course. This feeling is outside myself. This is the demon whispering in my ear. I see you now, and I wont believe you this time.

I cant assume so much about other people. If I don't let people in, I will never know another person, I will never feel anything, I will never know love, I will always be alone. And I think for that, that a little bit of uncomfortable is a lot better than a lifetime of loneliness.

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