What I did.

I most enjoyed the sunset yesterday and James and his friend laughed at me for it. It was all hot pink. The clouds looked like they were sitting on a glass ceiling, they were so flat. The hot pink was only on the bottom of the clouds. I just sat and watched the pink fade into gray. The day fade into night. Emilie sat on my lap and we watched the sun set together. She and I. When the fireworks started, Emilie and Elisebeth and McKenzie all sat with me on my blanket. We talked about what the fireworks looked like. It made me happy. It made me want a dozen of my own little girls.

So earlier in the day we had a cook out and we swam and had ice cream cake. I enjoyed it very much. It was a nice day. Sigh.

So Im still harboring this negativeness but I have buried it somewhere in the happy for awhile. I need people I think. I want to have a good time with people I like. People that like me too.

I had forgotten how much I loved to spend the day with my family. It fills me up inside. Thanks guys.