Sunday, October 31, 2004

I can see the scars on the moon.

If I could just make up my mind, this whole thing would be so much easier. I suppose I do not have to decide between one or the other if I never really get one or the other in the first place. I pretend to be so bold, and really, I am not. I should just tell you instead of making up these scenarios in my head of your would-be reactions. Ah, I am so prolific in my words, and barren in my actions. I never do what I ought. It is much easier to live in fiction and fantasies. I will place us together in my head. You will be there, just across the table from me, and we will talk together. I will tell you all the things I do not tell you and you will listen. Then, what do you say? I make up your response according to who I think you are. I could never guess what you might say next, never ever. I want to be like that. I want to have you leaning in toward me so you never miss a word. I want to captivate you with my sparkling originality, dazzle you with my ingenious comprehension of this or that.

Relient K said in their book, that all girls (and guys for that matter) want three things: To be known, to be accepted, and to be loved. This statement is true as far as I am concerned. But they also said that no person can give these things to you all the time, because people are not perfect. God offers these things. I will not go any further than that, because I am writing for my own benefit, and not yours. This is all I needed to hear/read.

It is amazing how low homework can fall on my priority list.

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