Friday, October 08, 2004

He took all the broken bits of glass and made something beautiful.

I wish these feelings were reciprocal. And I want always to be happy with me. I hate how embarrassed and awkward I feel at times. I would like to see your face now. I hope that tomorrow turns out better than I expect. I need security and reassurance. I like how you give that to me. I see all my flaws when I look in the mirror. I fear that you see them too. I am tired of being so passive and compliant. I will try to speak up more often. Im still terribly afraid of guys. I feel more comfortable around guys that are not "hot." I am picky about little things like squeezing the toothpaste from the bottom and where things go. I feel irritated and unimportant when I talk and no one listens. Most often, the thing I want the most is the very thing I fear. I remember what people say better than names and birthdays and events. I couldn't tell you what color eyes you have. But the way you make me feel, oh, I certainly remember that. I really do.

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