Saturday, June 19, 2004

This is for eyes that wont read this.

Person #1: I loved you. You were always a stranger to me, but I loved you anyway. There was nothing you could not build, nothing you could not do. You were creator and patriarch and every definition I knew of strength. You were a rock. I never spent much time with you, and I regret that. I regret what my youth made me too blind to see. I regret my ignorance. I don't remember what your voice sounds like. I don't remember what you would say about this or that. I don't remember what your face looked like when you smiled. Did you ever smile? I can no longer feel your arms around me in an embrace, and I don't remember what you smell like. Still, I loved you. I love you, or what I think you were anyway. You could not reclaim in 8 months what you spent a lifetime delaying, and I'm sorry for that. I miss you and this place is falling apart with you gone. I cannot tell you this now, so here is my tribute to you.

Person 2#: I love you more than I've ever loved another human being. The worst thing I can think that could happen to me would be to have something bad happen to you. I'm tired of being ashamed of my love for you. I will not pretend that I love anyone as much as I love you. I did not decide this. This is new to me and it is wonderful and terrifying. I give my heart to you because you did not ask for it. I love you because you need me. I love you because you love me without condition. I love you because you love me honestly and innocently. You are pure and without stain. I love you more than I love myself. When you are not here, I just want to look at pictures of you. When you are here, I just want to hear your voice and watch your facial expressions. I want you to need me more. It hurts me when people try to hurt you. I am often offended on your behalf. Sometimes I don't like you very much and sometimes you don't like me very much, but I love you even more. I cant wait to see what you will be like tomorrow. I wish everyone could love someone else this way. I hope that when I have children, I love them like this. I cannot tell you these things because you are far too young to understand. So, I hold you close to me and hug you and say "I love you" as I do this so that you can feel that I love you. I honestly do.

1 comment:

Ronnie said...

I'm not going to sit here and try to figure out what it all means, but if you want to tell me. . . I'll be happy to listen