Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Chinese Babies and Girly Feelings

I was thinking today about going to China. Joanie told me yesterday that the referrals are comming in for December 15 already. That makes refferal time 6 months. That means that I could be going to China as soon as October. Im a little bit excited and scared. I have never been on a plane before, let alone travel in a foriegn country for two weeks. Im mostly nervous about what I dont know. I dont know what it will look like. I wont know what people around me are saying. But Joanie has been there before, so she will know what is going on. I am excited to meet my new cousin. She is alive right now somewhere and she needs someone to love her. Well, I cant wait to hold her and show her how much love I have. I bet she will be scared of me at first. I dont think there are very many red-haired, freckly chinese people. Some people say that they couldnt love an adopted child as much as one they had, but I dont understand that. I love Elisabeth so much that it hurts me to think that someone else wouldnt. All I want to do is hold her and listen to her laugh and see her smile and make her happy forever and talk to her. I wonder what she will say next. I want to watch her sleep and listen to the even rythm of her breath as her little chest rises and falls. I feel that way about Emilie too. I just want to be around both of them and hold them and make them feel safe. Im such a girl.

Anyway. . . so I went to get my shot record and I guess the only shot I have to have before I go to china is Hepititis A. Thats good, because I dont like needles.

I cant stay up late tonight because I have to work early in the morning. I like my job. Its alot better than fast food was.

How about a poem? I'll give you one that is on the first page of my poetry book thingy, okay?

The Possibilities

This is the first page
what determines if the things that follow
are good
or bad
what begins a new chapter
on the right
or wrong
these are the first words that say
“all that I write shall stay”
“all imperfections shall fade away”
all the possibilities
are fresh and new
so let’s start here
and hope for the best
I’ll leave you now
to read the rest.

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