Tuesday, June 29, 2004

Thirty Minutes Ago.

I have two things tonight, but they were both born in the same moment, the same incident. I don't have to tell you what happened, just what I want to say about what happened.

First, I don't know if you have ever seen me mad, but I thought I would tell you the signs to look for. I won't say anything to you. I mean, if I am really mad, I will just stop talking or looking at you or whatever and maybe walk away. Chances are though, that I'm not bold enough for that around you. I usually don't do that unless its not the first argument we have had. You see, I don't think the relationship is strong until the first fight. If we can survive a fight, we have something. So if I'm mad at you, I will talk less. If you ask me if I am mad at you, I will probably say no because I don't like confrontation. I don't want to fight. I don't want you to get all defensive. I don't want to loose a friend. But this is poisonous and I know it. I'm working on it. But I wouldn't worry or anything because I don't get mad very often, and I usually only get mad at people I really care about. People I don't like aren't worth my tears (that's what I do when I'm still mad and alone)

Anyway, I'm done talking about that. Have you ever had anyone say exactly the right thing? It was weird. I was thinking something, and it was like they heard me and said exactly what I needed them to say. Awesome.

Oh, new subject. I was talking with some stranger in some Christian chat room (I was really bored, trust me.) Anyway, he freaked me out. He was all saying that he hacked into my computer and stole stuff. Now, admittedly, I don't know much about computers, so I have no way of knowing if he was just being cruel or telling the truth. Why would he tell me that? So anyway, I immediately unplugged the phone line from the jack, but like, I'm not staying off the internet for the rest of my natural life because I am scared. It is just a machine, after all. Jeez. But oh how I would miss it. I would miss this.

So, I wish I wasn't talking about myself all the time. No, nevermind, I'm not sorry for that. I can be selfish here. If you didn't care to hear (read) about me, then you wouldn't be here, would you? *best evil laugh I can summon* I am a selfish creature! (though, aren't we all?)

So, it makes me happy that someone other than me reads this. *smile* Thank you very much. I've got warm and fuzzy feelings for you now. (Yes, you too.) Sigh.

Hey, guess what? (Even though next to no one has seen it) I changed my room a bit. Yes, I did. I moved my sewing machine and table thingy into my room. (I know, I know, not only am I a dork, I'm a little Ms. Seamstress dork.) Oh, and more excitement. I made something today! Betty (my manager at work) says it's called a pashima (honestly, I cant spell it, but that's how it sounds) but I think that's just a fancy word for poncho,(another thing I cant spell) Anyway, its not a poncho, exaclty, but it has no sleeves and its like a big rectangle with only a hole for your head. Oh, right, three minutes ago. . . I think its pretty anyway.

I don't much like people coming into my room. They start touching my things, and I'm one of those people that has everything "just so" even if it appears to be casually strewn somewhere. So if you do come in here, please don't move things. You can touch them, just put them back right, okay? Another thing is, you can tell a lot about a person from their room, and I'm afraid I would inadvertently give something away. I don't know, I just like to have control over things, like what you know about me. No, I cant think of an example of what secret my room might give away, I'm just a paranoid freak, okay? Leave me be. Besides, my room is my place, it's my safety zone, my box, my. . . I don't know. It is me if I was a room full of furniture.

Speaking of furniture, my bed used to be my favorite place to be. I even wrote a poem about it once. I changed my mind recently. I don't know why, I just did. My car is my new favorite place to be, or right here, or anywhere, so long as you are there. Except, my butt starts to hurt after sitting here too long. Like, I've been typing this out for like half an hour.

Change of subject: I use the word don't a lot. I realized this because I always forget the apostrophe and spell check corrects every single don't I was amazed. I also forget the apostrophe in I'm too and spell check thinks I mean "IM" and the actual "I'm" is halfway down the list. Now tell me, where is the logic in that? Shouldn't I'm be the second choice? I wish to file a formal complaint somewhere.

Another thing, my browser has a pop-up blocker and it blocks the good pop ups too, including the spell checker. So, if I don't turn off the pop-up blocker. . . three minutes ago, right.

Okay then, I think I'll type at you later. Just one more think. I am so very happy today.


Ronnie said...

"If we can survive a fight, we have something."
I like that, to be honest there have only been a few people that I survived a fight with---way to weave out the undesirables I guess. But mostly, I don't even survive long enough to fight. Maybe I'm just being too picky here, but I want Heaven with the one I end up with. Is that possible?

Sarah Jo said...

I hope so.