Hear that? Thats the sound of a good grape.

I just watched Tuesdays with Morrie. Now, I dont cry over movies, but this movie made me cry. I cried at the part where they said goodbye for the last time. It made me sad because I never got to say goodbye to my grandpa like that, he was unconcious for the last week. I dont even remember the last time I saw him while he was awake. I miss him so much. Its so strange how I didnt miss him so much at first, I never saw him more than once or twice a month. BUt, I never ever went this long without seeing him.

WHat do I do when the pain doesnt get any better and no one wants to talk about it? Why cant we talk about death without getting uncomfortable. I love him still, even if he is gone, maybe more now that he is gone. I can cry and cry and never feel any better about it. I miss him. And there are no words for what I would want to say.

Just make it go away, please.