I don't like being unhappy. But I suppose that feeling is necessary so I can appreciate happy better.
My thoughts are pretty disjointed right now.
Sometimes, or actually most of the time, I leave my friends feeling so great. They make me feel good about me. Like I'm a person worth being around. A person worth love, attention, consideration, and respect. And there are so many people in my life that make me feel loved and valued that I know it must be true. So when I have a relationship that makes me feel different, that makes me feel not valued, not loved, not worth attention or respect, I know there must be a problem in that relationship. This isn't how it is supposed to be.
And it hurts a lot to really love, value, respect and appreciate someone when you feel that they don't return the feelings. Or at least not at the same level.
I don't know what changed. Was it the relationship, me, the other person, or just my perspective? Either way, the moments that make me happy seem too short in comparison to the moments I spend worried, hurt, mad, and impatient.
But I don't know where to go from here.