Monday, March 22, 2010

I get angry.

I can't watch girl movies. I keep wanting something exciting to happen. Things should blow up or there should be a space ship or fantastical creatures or time travel or something. The romance makes me angry. How can people write things like that? Does love like that even exist? And it isn't fair even if it DOES exist because I'm looking around and not seeing it anywhere nearby. All these people watching these movies about love that just doesn't happen. Or doesn't happen very often.

I feel like I keep waiting for the love worth waiting for. But I don't want some fantasy thing. I don't want perfect. I just want the one that makes me happier just for being there. Happier. Because I'm content all by myself. And he will have flaws. Some awful things, probably. And my girlfriends will say, "I don't know how you deal with that." but I'll smile because I know all the good things they don't see. And I know all the crap he puts up with for me.

And somehow, we will start becoming a little more like each other. Like rearranging yourself to fit closer when sleeping in someones arms. Never any less like yourself, but always a little closer to the other person. (And sometimes a little uncomfortable.)

I don't expect fireworks or a perfectly timed romantic ballad. We will meet. And one of us will say, "I like you." and the other will say, "I kinda like you too." And we shall progress from there.

Or maybe it won't be anything like that at all.

But these romantic movies make me angry. Mostly because I'm alone.

1 comment:

partnersxinxcrime said...

you are so true.
i hope you know you are not alone in feeling this way. not alone at all.