Friday, March 26, 2010

I bought that Ke$ha song, Tik Tok. And I love it. So take THAT.

I complained to my mother about work yesterday. When I finished, I apologized for being so negative. She said she was used to it, that I only ever said bad things about people when I talk about them anyway.

I don't know if this statement is true. It made me angry at the time but I kept my mouth shut. My mother does things like this often. She slides in little remarks that sound harmless but are actually pretty mean. But see, even saying that makes her statement a little more true, doesn't it?

So I'm going to watch myself for awhile and see if it is true. Maybe it is just the way I talk to her. We don't talk very often. She stays in her room and me in mine. And our encounters are usually me getting upset with her. Why  did you take my bike? Why did you smoke in my bedroom when I wasn't home? Why is the counter always covered in bread crumbs and clumps of jelly? So, I don't think my relationship with her is a good example of how I interact with all others.

When I get home tonight, or sometime this weekend, my goal is to focus on the good things about people I spend time with and maybe write about them. But I do that already. I make people lists. I compliment people. But how do I speak of them when they aren't in the room?

I don't know.

This morning I'm in a good mood. I'm sleepy but I had a lot of fun last night with Jeremy. It makes me feel better when some of my other relationships seems to be slowly unraveling. At least things are good there. 

I think I'm going to need caffeine today and I don't have time to stop at the coffee shop. Sadness. I had to pour hot water over my car to unfreeze the doors and windows. Rain to freezing rain to snow last night. What a mess.

Time to go to work.  

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