I've been reading The Uglies today. And last night. It gave me strange dreams of running from authority figures. Hiding in the ruins of a wasted city.
Today my reading keeps getting interrupted by screaming. It sounds like my dad had some pills of some kind hidden and my mom took them all last night. He says he needs them for work. He keeps screaming and screaming at her. "WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?" She ignores him and plays with Kiersten. Neither one can see they have a problem. Screaming and throwing things. The baby is in the bathtub. I went to the bathroom to talk to Kiersten. She says, "Mamaw Papaw fighting." I say, "Yes, they are." She asks, "Why fighting?" "I don't know," I tell her. What can I say?
Door slamming. Screaming. The sound of things hitting the floors.
I'll go to the gym. Get away from here. I'll pretend I'm okay and listen to my ipod and try to think about something else.
"How is your mom?" "How is your dad?" People ask me. Some of them know about the drugs. Most don't. What do I say? Oh, they seem okay most of the time, but when it is bad it is very, very bad. Usually they seem normal but sometimes they fall asleep in weird places. Sometimes they scream and fight. Sometimes they stay up all night. Sometimes they scare me. Is that what I say? No, I say, "The same." Always, always the same.