I'm in this place again. I can feel the darkness under my skin. When I am happy I feel like I have wonderful sunshine inside, like Sunny-D in my veins. Today its grape kool-aid. Warm grape kool-aid. Eww. And the worst part is that when I'm in "a mood" I don't want out of it. Do you know what I mean? I just want to dwell in it for a good long time and feel sorry for myself. But I musn't do that. I must find my happy and get back to the sunshine.