For my brothers: the fact that you can cuss, hit, do drugs, and have sex, does not mean you are an adult. Being an adult includes, but is not limited to, knowing that you can do these things but abstaining from them. Something else I would include as criteria would be taking responsibility for your actions and realizing that they have an effect on more people than just yourself. I love you, now please grow up.
For my mother: I am very proud of what you are doing. I believe you and I believe in you. I will support you for as long as you are trying because I love you beyond measure. But, if you fall back into your old ways, I do not know if I could ever trust you again. I am going out on a limb here, please don't knock me off. Please don't hurt me anymore. Please let me know that I am more important to you than your addiction. I love you.
To everyone else in the family: I do not want to hear anything negative you have to say about my mother. I live with her, I have seen her at her worst and at her best. I do not need you to remind me about all of the mistakes my mother has made. I know she has hurt you, but when you tell me about it, you make me feel responsible and I don't like it. I have no control over the actions of any other human being. I love my mother very much, and I also love you, don't make me choose sides. I believe that she is making an honest effort to change, and she needs support in that.
Now can we please talk about something else?