Thursday, January 13, 2005

I'm not mad at you, I'm not mad at them, I just hurt.

I don't know that I can hold all of this hurt inside of me. I have been so strong, I have played the parent for so long. This burden I cannot bear. Oh, to be a child again, to have someone comfort me, instead of me comforting them. I looked into her face today and saw the woman who raised me, and cared for me, and protected me. But then, in an instant, she was the woman that needed holding up, the woman that needed me to say I believe in her.

I feel like I'm being torn in two and all I want to do is hide.
The future teeters before me, infused with hope-filled dreams, but for all I know, it will crash upon me tomorrow.
Alone in my room again, as always.
I'm so very tired of this,
she promised it would be the last time I would cry because of her.
Oh, how I want those words to be true.

I love you, I love you, I love you, please stop hurting me.

(It's broken, but its yours.)
Sarah Jo

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