Sometimes I wonder if I have made the wrong choices. What would have happened if I had. . . Could I have been happy then? I can never know the answer to this question. True, I could still change my mind, do it, and see what happens, but I'm so comfortable here. Sure, sometimes I feel like I definitely should have done the other thing, but then there are the moments that make it all worth while, perhaps.
I have known great happiness and great sadness. I am filled with gladness and regret. I am content and restless.
And I feel stretched into two directions. I get distracted by the long-term and the temporary. I don't focus on the one I should at the appropriate times.
And I'm trying with all I have to be a woman, and I keep proving myself a child.