Sunday, August 16, 2009

I smell like smoke and french toast. Not a good combination.

I'm about to go to walmart to buy a workout/dance video to do in the living room. Never thought that compulsion would happen to me. I'm a complete stranger. I have the same name and hair. My voice is familiar, but the things that come out of my mouth are not.

Thats not what I wanted to talk about. But I think what I wanted to talk about I need an actual person in front of me for. A girl. Yes, a girl. Its about boy feelings.

This makes me feel like one of those awful movies where the plot is always the same and its just different characters and places. Stupid, stupid feelings. But then I like the way it feels to hope and look into his eyes and wonder.

But oh my goodness. Its kind of scary when those gaga goggles come off and then I wonder how on earth I had feelings for THAT guy. Are you familiar with this? And then I look at him and try to remember what it was that made my heart race or my fingers to itch to touch him and instead I feel that cold, steel wall around my heart telling me this man isn't right for me. This man would hurt me. Hmm.

I'm terrified of people sometimes. I wonder if that ever goes away. I'm gonna go to walmart now.

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