Monday, April 10, 2006

Upon waking

I had a dream, or rather, maybe not. Anyway, I was asleep and I was completely conscious of my breathing and nothing else. It sounded/felt so loud, like there was nothing else but the sound of air passing over my lips, nothing but the feel of my chest rising and falling. It was not like the whole world fell away, leaving only my breath, but more like consciousness came only in the form of my breath: a great gushing sound. It wasn't the dream-me breathing, but the real, physical me. And I tried to slow it down, make it quieter, to stop the roar, and succeeded only in waking myself up. Because, I could not control it at first, the woosh-woosh, the rise-fall, and, realizing that I was actually actually aware of myself enough to think about breathing quieter (if that makes any sense) broke the spell and the rest of reality came rushing back at me. I could once again feel the fabric of the pillow against my face, the weight of my head resting on my hands, and the tension of the blankets wrapped around my legs.

That was weird.

Sarah Jo

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