I don't like driving in the first place, but I especially do not like to drive in the dark. So, as I'm driving home this evening my thoughts are singular: I don't like this, I don't like this, I don't like this, I don't like this.
It was worse yesterday. I was coming home from the tri-county mall area and I ended up going south on 75 instead of north. I got really upset really quickly. I tried to call home and no one answered. I called five times. I was scared and I felt very alone and I only wanted someone to talk to me. I'm a big girl, I can find my way home okay, and I did. But, I just wanted someone to talk to me and tell me everything was going to be okay but everyone was asleep.
I always get unreasonably nervous when I'm driving at night, and I don't like feeling that way. Its awful.
This reminds me of something else. It was the middle of the day and I come home to find that the breaker has blown. (Is that the correct terminology?) Nothing upstairs works. So, I know I have to go to the basement and flip the little switch thing. I called my mom and asked her to just talk to me while I went down to the basement, because its scary down there. Having her on the phone with me made me feel less frightened. What could she do? If something scary did happen, she could not save me through the phone. Just like in the car, if I really was lost, how could anyone talk me back home? Not very easily. So, I did not need anyone to help me in either of these situations, I just wanted to know that someone was there.
But I'm never alone. God says that He is always with me. I can see now that both those times I should have prayed, because fear is not a spirit of God. And I know that He is the God of comfort, He is the Lord of Peace. I never have to walk alone. But sometimes I just need the voice in my ear because that still small voice in my heart isn't loud enough, or I'm not quiet enough to listen.
And with that, I close.