Yesterday I went out to lunch with Christopher and he kissed me on the cheek. It was so sweet. He won't even hug me if someone else is around.
And I went to Wednesday night church for the first time. It was definitely different. It was more like a bible study. I really enjoyed it. We were talking about what it means to be holy. Chad gave the example of looking at temptation and saying, "I'm not doing that" and stepping away. And again. And again. "I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. I'm not doing that. . . " Stepping further and further away. Being set apart. The Greek word for holy is the same as sanctified.
The voices in my head tell me that I'm not good enough, that I'll never be good enough. At anything. All my efforts will fall short of acceptable. But I know that He loves me regardless of how many times I fall. And, in Christ, all things are possible. And His thoughts towards me are many. And, Jesus died to pay for my sins. I do not worship a distant god, but my God lives in my very heart. He knows the thoughts and desires of my heart. He has plans for me. He will lift me up and make me better than I am, more like Him. So, compared to all that, what do the voices in my head matter anyway?