Tuesday, October 28, 2008

Lifting weights is never fun.

One of the reasons I got "STRONGER" on my wrist was because I've learned that the hard things in life are the things that make me stronger. I got it to remind myself of that when I get to those days when I feel like I cant go on, when life feels like too much for me to handle. I know that days like that make me stronger, and I am strong enough to beat them.

I also got it as part of my weight loss journey. I know that every time I eat, and everyday I have to make decisions between healthy choices and what might feel good temporarily. I have to be stronger than those temptations. So, the word is on my wrist because I will have to face it every time I decide to eat ice cream instead of yogurt, or to take a nap instead of going to the gym. Am I stronger than that temptation? I am.

Its in white because it is just for me. I don't care if complete strangers notice that I have "STRONGER" on my skin. They don't know me and they won't know what it means. I'm not trying to advertise how strong I am, that's ridiculous. Its a reminder and testament for me. And when white ink heals, it looks like a scar. This seems really appropriate to me because all these experiences: my parents, the drug abuse all around me, the obesity, the challenges of life, they all leave me with little scars. And despite all of that, I'm going to be beautiful.

So, when I came home last night and my room smelled like pot, or when I came home the day before to overhear a drug deal, or when I came home today to a house filled with cigarette smoke and strangers, I try to remind myself that these things are going to make me stronger or make me bitter. And I get to choose.

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