Friday, March 31, 2006

Not to be confused with "the potty dance"

I had a fruit smoothie today that was so sweet, it made my teeth hurt.
And the bathroom sink is clogged. I never remember that I need to buy draino when I'm not in the bathroom. Except for right now, of course. Oh, train of thought = teeth hurt ---> brush teeth ----> sink clogged. Yes.

I spent the evening with Nika. It was very enjoyable. She makes me feel like a person worth knowing. And I feel the same about her. She is awesomeness indeed.
*happy dance*
I had all kinds of things to say, and now they are all gone.

Well, since your here, I should make this worth your time. Close your eyes and think about something that fills you with happy-good feelings. I know! Think about how awesome you are, dwell on all your good qualities, think about something exciting that is happening in the near future, think about someone you absolutely love to be around, think about Christmas, sunny days, free stuff, good hugs, yummy food, sleeping in late, summertime, and well, me of course!

If that didn't make you feel, oh, at least a shade happier, I don't know what to tell you.
Remember that bible verse I said was my favorite?

"Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable├é—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy├é—think about such things." - Phil 4:8

Now I'm ready for bed, boring blog notwithstanding.

Sarah Jo

Thursday, March 30, 2006

I don't listen to myself very well. As soon as I tell myself NOT to feel this way, I do. Stupid emotions not bending to the logic. I was totally in control for about 37.25 seconds. Pooh.

Tonight was dinner at P.F. Changs with the gang from work. It was incredibly awesome, as it usually is. So why am I sad just now? Because I'm alone now and I wasn't ready to be. Because I want more. More. More. More.

I wonder if they know. I wonder if they can tell. I want them to, but I don't want to have to say it.

Five seconds can be a very long time.

Didn't I say I was going to ask for things I want?
But I'm afraid.

I really don't like being alone. Pretty much ever. But I am.

Tuesday, March 28, 2006

Head and shoulders, knees and toes!

Its amazing how much a touch can say. Just touching someone as you walk by says that you are aware of their presence and wanted to connect with them for a small moment. Touching someone as you talk/listen to them demonstrates your full attention and desire to be close to that person. A hug is a wonderful way to share mutual affection. Even a high-five is a great way to share excitement, success, or congratulation.

Today I focused on being aware of how often others touched me, and how often I touched other people. Then I made an effort to do that more. It was awesome to see the smile when I requested a hug, the glance of acknowledgement after a passing "pat", or the giggle after a high-five.

Tomorrow I shall focus on words of affirmation. After that, acts of service. I think quality time and gifts are going to be more long-range projects.

"Thats all I have to say about that"

Sarah Jo

Monday, March 27, 2006

We'll see if this works. The site is running pretty slow.

ANYWAY,

I don't really have anything new or interesting to say, I just wan to talk. Or type. Or whatever. I want to communicate. Of course, this doesnt really satisfy said desire becasue it is very much like talking to oneself.

I'm cold. I'm always cold. What is it that can make one person in a room feel warm and another feel cold?

Do you ever wonder how other people see you? Sometimes you get little glances. And some of those times, its awesome, and other times it makes you want to re-evaluate yourself. If we compare ourselves to others (or how others view us) we will find ourselves to be great by one comparison and lacking by another. I can only hope that I live each day to try to live up to the standards God has set for me, and not the standards of the world.

I heard a new song today called Maybe You by BDA. It really touched me, because I want to be that girl in that song.

I should go.

Sarah Jo

Saturday, March 25, 2006

You make me smile.

I decided that I won't ever get what I want if I don't ask for it. So I did. And it was awesome. Because I got it.

And it was only something small, but something I never had to courage to ask for before.

On to bigger and better things?

Sarah Jo

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

Excitement.

I get to meet Relient K. I should take them something. What should I take them? Please don't say skittles or combos. I'm going to wear a birthday hat. Because its the Matt Hoopes Birthday Tour. I get to meet Relient K. Goodness.

Sarah Jo

Sunday, March 19, 2006

Saturday, March 18, 2006

With your scarlet fingertips

Niagara falls was much fun. Very cold, but beautiful.

I'm reading a good book. It is called The Five Love Languages by Gary Chapman. According to the book, the five love languages are: words of affirmation, gifts, quality time, physical touch, and acts of service. Each person has one primary "love language". This is basically the thing that makes them feel most loved. For instance, one person may feel loved when someone gives them small gifts. Another may feel most loved when someone tells them how much they are loved, or gives them other compliments. The goal of this book is to recognize that different people need to be shown love in different ways. We need to recognize what it is we need, and what those around us need as well. The book has a quiz to discover which love language you use. I found the same thing on line here if you want to try it. My love language is quality time. I feel most loved, or closest to people, when I get to spend time with them and have meaningful conversations. I feel loved when someone remembers something I said, or when I feel they are truly listening to me. My second highest score on the quiz was physical touch. Although I haven't had any experience in the way of hand holding or kissing or anything like that, I love hugs and I love just sitting near people I love. I'm just really enjoying the book. I'm reading the singles version, so it focuses on relationships other than romantic, but highlights what you can work on for future relationships. I deserve the fairy tale.

Mmmkay. Goodnight.

Sarah Jo

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

Sarah Milkshake

I feel like I crawled into a hole/cave for days and am suddenly being forced to emerge. I want to sleep some more, darn distracting books. And my face has that hot feeling like when I'm extremely embarrassed/nervous and no one else knows. Maybe someone knew one time, but they never did indicate possessing such knowledge. Anyway, I can't remember what I was thinking about to cause such a reaction.

I want a green shirt that has a black crab on it that says, "RAWR" or maybe "GRRR". But I can't be spending money on stuff just now. I've got border-crossing to consider. And darn car insurance. Stupid responsibilities. Not the border-crossing though. Ash, make sure I bring my passport, okay? That won't stay on my mental packing list. Keeps fallin off.

I finished the dern book though. Oh, this song just said, "was it at the coffee shop?" and now I want a chocolate chunk frappichiller. Or a serenade by a not-so-talented young man. But the frappichiller sound more likely at this hour.

Hmm, I was trying my very best not to be grumpy at work today, and the best friendly I could manage was smiling and silence. Whew. That was hard work. I was tired. No, I AM tired, but there's homework to be doing, so of course I must procrastinate a bit more.

I don't think I'm done being alone yet.

Sarah Jo

Hey! I'm not done yet. I was at grandma and grandpas on Sunday. I've been in the habit of staying until well after mom and dad leave. I read my book and they watch TV.We don't have much to say to each other, but we are together for a couple hours. Anyway, I asked Grandpa was Lent was about, because honestly, I don't know and, of course, he doesn't stay on subject, but I enjoyed his response thoroughly. I want to be just like Grandpa. He gets so excited when talking about God and the joy is all over him and he usually cries because he is so happy and he is trying his best to tell you so you'll be happy just like him. He loves the Lord. And I wish you could see him, just listen to him for awhile and you would see too.

My face is still hot. Maybe I have a fever. Or I'm crazy.

Sarah Jo, again

Thursday, March 02, 2006

Wow, I'm losing respect for you.

Dad drinks every night. And when he stays up late enough to get, uh, drunk? or something, when he stays up late, he gets into a mood where he wants to talk. And inevitably, he starts talking about God and the Bible, and how he is such a good person. This always upsets me and I avoid being downstairs at these times. Not so tonight.

So, he starts talking, "In the bible it says. . . " and he holds out his left hand, cradling this imaginary bible while his right hand flips through imaginary pages, "that life is in the blood." And he stares at me, like he always does, because it takes SO long for the next sentence to come out and I don't know whether this is a moment where I'm supposed to respond, or if I'm supposed to stare back until he finishes the thought. Of course, no response is required. Never, really. I could sit silently staring at him while he talked for hours, because he doesn't really care what I think, what I have to say. And I think to myself, How does he know what the Bible says? I've never seen him read anything but the T.V guide. So, is this something the T.V. preacher said on the Jesus channel? Is this coming from some special he watched on PBS? Or perhaps from something Grandpa said? He doesn't even own a Bible. But, here he is telling me what it says and what it means. And I wonder, if I said these things to him, would he even remember in the morning?

Sarah Jo