I spent some time with Ashley J today. After we talked for a long time, I walked her out to her car because it was dark and my neighborhood is not so good. We talked outside her car for some time until we saw a sketchy looking gentleman walking toward us. I told her to get in her car and I would go back in the house, which actually involved walking toward said gentleman (scary guy) As I briskly walk toward the house the gentleman/ scary guy says to me, "Hey Baby, whats your name?" I respond by running into the house and locking the door. The end. At least I know now that someone out there finds me attractive and I'll just ignore the old/scary factor.
I dont really have a "crush" on anyone just now, but I think I'de like to. Its exciting, nervous-making, teenage-feeling inducing. Sure, its no fun when the feelings aren't reciprocated, but its still fun to tell my friends about how (insert good quality here) he is, and speculate what every word and action means. "He said hi and smiled at me today! Do you think he likes me?"
If dating is anything like most other pleasures, than can I assume that the anticipation is better than the actual thing?
And if a hug feels so nice, what is a kiss like? Which is better?
I think I want my first kiss to be on my wedding day. If someone loves me enough to spend the rest of their life with me, they wouldn't mind waiting for this small thing. I don't want to waste my first kiss on someone who might seem great at the time, but is not the one for me. I store up my purity as a gift for my future husband, and I'll give it to no one else. Ambitious, yes, but goals should be.
I have discoverd that while I really like routine and consistency, I can be quite impulsive and spontaneous. When I decide I want something, I want it right now, so I go get it. But usually these are things that I can get for myself. I don't demand that someone else get things for me. For example, I decide I want a new hamper. That moment, or as soon as I'm free, I inform my parents that I'm going to the store to buy a new hamper. But then, I get quite upset if I cannot get this thing that I've suddenly decided I need, and it becomes the most important thing until I get it. It is not always a material thing.
I got my hair cut even shorter. Its like two inches long. Feels quite invigorating, but it seems to have lost most of the curl. I really like to run my fingers through it. It doesnt mess up or tangle. How beautiful is that? Just a constant messy/poofy well, mess. You can touch it, because I'de like that.
Well, I must get to bed. I'm going to Columbus with Joanie and Jeanie in the morning to get the last paper for Jeanies adoption. Yes, we are going to have a THIRD Chinese baby in the family. Her name will be Payton Alexandra, I think. One day, Im going to adopt one or five.
I believe I was trying to say good night.