I miss the feeling of getting to know someone and letting someone get to know me. I'm so different than I used to be. I think it would help me understand who this new person is if I could watch someone else react to me for the first time. I want a new friend.
I used to think good things about me. I blamed all my problems on being fat and then I could ignore everything else. Now I know that some things are because of my weight but other things are just my flaws. I think I went overboard on the introspection and freaked myself out at all the things I don't like about me. I go from one extreme to the next.
So, I now charge myself with the duty of falling in love with me again. If I don't love me, how could anyone else? I'm going to do my best to romance myself until I realize that, despite the ugly parts, I really am awesome. I really am someone worth loving. And one day, someone is going to be amazed that they get to be with me and I'll be amazed that I get to be with them.
Its going to be great.