You take for granted the things I wish for the most.

School started again, and hopefully for the last time for me. I'm taking Identity and Conflict in Greco-Roman Egypt, Roman Cities, Peoples of the World, and Human Sexuality. This is the first time in my life I have felt like everyone else knows more than me in every class. I have no prior knowledge of ancient Greece or Rome, I'm not very educated about other cultures, and I certainly dont have any experience with Human Sexuality. I feel like the silent, dumb person in the back I've never been. I suppose this should be a humbling experience for me. I'll try to take that lesson from it. I'm not as smart as I thought I was. Or rather, I have so many oppurtunities to learn!

Moving on . . . I'm still playing the "avoiding my parents" game, and it sucks. They make me feel so guilty when they tell me they need money; yesterday my mom came upstairs crying telling me she didnt have anything to eat and she was hungry. Still, Dad had beer and cigerettes so I'm pretty sure their priorities are a little mixed up. Plus, when she tells me she's hungry and asks for money and not food, I begin to wonder exactly what she REALLY wants the money for. Sometimes, I hate it here. Shoudn't home be the one place a person should feel safe?

Well, my safety has moved to the coffee shop, I suppose. I'm meeting some really incredible people lately, and it's just been an amazing experience. People that accept me for who I am, instantly. They don't care that I'm not a christian, in fact, they think thats cool. They want to particpate in a full moon ritual with me. Wait, did I tell you I'm not a christian anymore? This has become a point of conflict in my life recently as people ask me to explain to them so they can better try to convert me back. Whats wrong with letting me believe whatever I want to believe?

Anyway, I'm really just saying all this to avoid the horror of: making dinner, eating dinner, cleaning up after dinner, going to the gym, showering after the gym, and doing masses of homework all in the next three hours. Its not going to happen because there isnt enough time. So, I must sort my priorities, though these all seem like MUSTS to me. I suppose I could sleep less. No one likes a grumpy Sarah Jo though. Hmm. And this isnt helping either. All right, I'm off.

Sarah Jo