My grandma is dying. To be fair, she has been dying for a long time now, but I don't think she's going to make it through the night. Of course, that's what they said last night too. Mom and Dad and I stayed at her house all night last night, my parents are there again tonight. But, I have to go to school tomorrow and present a lesson. Christopher is in the bathroom crying so hard he's making himself sick. He is upset about grandma and then Dad yelled at him about something and Amber yelled at him about something. He doesn't want anyone to talk to him; I don't know what to do. I've already cried all day long. My eyes and my head hurt and I'm exhausted. I can't go to sleep until I take a shower and he's in there. . . Everyone is so stressed out and tired that we've been snapping at each other. I've been alone with no one to talk to for most of the weekend. I hate being alone.
And now my check engine light is on and I don't know whats wrong with the car but I don't feel safe driving the 25 miles to school and back again if I don't know whats wrong.
And I don't love kindergarten like I thought I would and I don't know if its just kindergarten or teaching all together. I hope its just the grade level because, if not, I've wasted three years and twenty thousand dollars.
And with stuff going wrong with my car, I have to pay for these things but I'm not making any more money so my savings account is getting lower and lower and lower. I have to take summer school if I'm going to graduate on time but I won't be able to pay for it without emptying my savings account.
I don't want to go to school tomorrow. I want to hide in my room until everything is better again. I want to go back to summer time. I want to be happy again.
I don't have time for this. I've got so much homework to do and I can't miss a day of field experience but I can't miss the funeral either, but most of all I just want my grandma to stop hurting so much.
Even when I sleep I have dreams about getting lost and never finding my way home again.
But, on the bright side, at least we have running water again. . .