This is what it feels like:

Today I deleted all the sites on my favorites list that had to do with gastric bypass surgery. It felt like letting go. It felt like ripping off the band-aid. It felt like standing up. It felt like the deep breath before the dive. If felt like the shaky legs after getting off the eliptical machine. It felt like staring up at the up escalator, wondering if I could run all the way up. It felt like saying good-bye. It felt like walking away. If felt like that last glimpse of the trees and streets before the airplane takes you into the clouds. It felt like finally finding the right exit ramp on some long roadtrip. It felt like taking that step when you know you can never go back. It felt like triumph. It  felt like failure. It felt like driving without a seatbelt. It felt like waking up. It felt like seeing something beautiful and dangerous for the first time. It felt like hope. It felt like the end of hope. It felt like the swinging chairs that pull you up the side of the mountain on a cable. It felt like the sudden stop when the car spins around on the ice. It felt strange.