I was thinking about the title of my blog today: A Woman Under Construction (and how she feels about it). My blog has gone through many, many names, but this one feels the most right to me. It used to be Warm Fuzzy Feelings, but I don't get those very much anymore. And I think one time it was Orange Pineapple Juice, because its just delicious.
But I am a woman under construction. Hopefully, I will always be changing and growing. And how do I feel about it? Well, look at any construction site, and you'll see. Its no fun; its work! And sometimes things get to a point where it seems like more of a mess than improvement. Still, wait and you'll start to see the skeleton of something beautiful rising out of the strange machinery. The only problem with my little metaphor? simile? is that I don't have a blueprint. Sometimes, I find that whatever I've been working on should be completely destroyed and re-built. This growing-up stuff is hard work.
So, sometimes life sucks, like bailing dad out of jail. And bailing dad out of jail again. But these things are the machines that are making me. I am slowly starting to see that something beautiful. These things make me stronger. For instance, I don't freak out during an emergency. I've seen too many 'crisis' moments to freak out. Panicking doesn't solve the problem. And I know: I will be okay.