Lately, I keep thinking things that make me blush, but I figure out that they are not good things to say out loud before they make it out of my mouth. So then, there I am, turning red for no explicable reason. At least the filter between my brain and my mouth is starting to be more effective. On the down side, people have noticed. Now I'll have to stop getting embarrassed when no one knows what I'm thinking.
And. . . I just got a voice mail message that is garbled beyond recognition and I have to wait until tomorrow to find out what it said. I'm not good at waiting. I keep imagining the worst. I don't know why. I'll have to think about something else. Like homework.
Things would turn out a lot better if I kept my mouth shut more often. Yes, they would. In Kidd Coffee there is a quote on the wall that says something like "I’ve often regretted my speech, but never my silence". Forgive me for not remembering the author of this quote. You can google it. At any rate, I should take this to heart, but I don't. I talk and talk and talk as long as someone will listen. And I keep listening if someone keeps talking. There should be a happy medium somewhere.
I keep thinking about this voice mail message.
And I'm not doing my homework.
I wish I could listen to my ipod in the shower. They have some kind of device where you put your ipod in a "water resistant" container with speakers. Its only 30 dollars. Why would I put my 250 dollar ipod in a 30 dollar contraption and trust that everything will turn out okay?
Oh! I got an ipod! Ha. I like it much. I purchased a pink case for it. All is well. And I get a daily audio bible podcast that makes me happy(er).
Voice mail. Homework.
So. . . How is your semester going? I'm already behind on my. . . new subject. So I don't really know my course numbers but I have courses that teach me how to teach math, science, and social studies. I have a personal health class (apparently, I need to be a good role-model for the young 'uns) as well as a class on assessment and a class on classroom management/discipline. What did I forget? *Counts on fingers* OH! And technology. How to integrate technology into a classroom. This would all be great if I wanted to teach, but, I don't. Maybe I could write children's books that would be useful when integrating the content areas. A children's book to use for math, science, social studies, health. Now, what would I write about? Oh, I guess that's the hard part.
(Voice mail. Homework.)
I feel like I'm on the right track again. Before, I felt like I fell off into a hole that I had no intention of even trying to escape, but not so anymore. God has a way of scraping off the things I cant handle, and lifting me up, until it isn't a hole anymore at all. Its amazing that no matter how many times I try to walk away from Him, He follows after me, chases after me, calls out to me, until I come back again. And it seems that I never really left in the first place. And every time I hurt, there is purpose. There is reason and growth. There is a lesson. Its not all senseless. And I'm never alone. I'm never alone.
Even though I've been at school all week long, and I've been spending time with my classmates, I feel that I haven't seen anyone at all. I feel lonely. Sigh. I miss people.
I want to go somewhere. I want to take a trip. When? Spring break is kind of out. This summer maybe. I want to go anywhere that's not here. Okay, somewhere that can be driven to. Somewhere that doesn't cost TOO much money. I'm going to think on this.
I MUST do my homework now. Thanks for listening to me. I need to be listened to.
(Wow, I had a LOT of spelling errorrs.)