I haven't felt myself since classes ended. I got so used to being busy all the time, I do not know what to do with myself now that I have all this free time. I've been doing a lot of reading, because I can never do enough of that during the semester. I read Eragon and now I'm reading Eldest. I really enjoy them. Elves, drwarves, dragons, magic, what else could one ask for?
I really like being at work more, because I genuinely like everyone I work for, but its been kind of emotionally draining for the last couple of weeks and the pleasure of it has been absent. I wish things would return to normal, I guess time will tell with that one.
I've been seeing a lot less of people in general and that makes me sad because I've got a lot more time to see people now.
Saturday I spent the day with my three favorite girls and it was a blast. I just love crawling around on the floor and playing pretend or whatever else they come up with. Kaitlynn was content looking at pictures and exclaiming over each one with phrases such as, "Tha' me and SISSY!" or "LOOK, you!". I love that child. She is talking so well lately. And she is such a polite little thing. Emilie wanted to practice "dance moves" in which I picked her up in various different ways, one including her jumping into my arms. Whew. Elisabeth just wanted me to let her cry, and then treat her special and pamper her. I did. It was so nice. It made me feel all warm and fuzzy inside.
Now I don't have anything to look forward to except school in June. Exciting, I know. There's an RK concert in July and I'm going to Indianapolis with Joanie, Ashley, and the girls, but those are both too far away to get excited about, especially since the summer school lies between here and there.
I still haven't gotten my financial aid package for next semester. Its like this nagging worry in the back of my mind all the time. Am I going to be able to pay for this one more year? Again, time will tell. Stupid patience.
I guess I'm running out of things to say but I haven't said nearly enough for me. I need a good talk. Yes. I haven't had one for. . . I don't know. One of those talks where you feel excited afterward because you know that you both know each other better now. One of those.
My room is a mess again. Now that's something I can do with my free time.
And. . . I was really into Gavin DeGraw there for a bit but I think its passing. I do, however, have his voice playing in my head constantly. But that's okay, its gorgeous. "I'm gonna love you more than anyone. . ." Yum.
I went out to dinner with my mom today and I saw a friend I haven't seen since LAST spring. We spent so much time together and then the semester ended and so did we. But, I'm going to try to fix it, because. . . That's what needs to be done. I've never been the person to initiate friendships or even outings or anything, and I've discovered that I have to step up and start things because sometimes no one else will. And right now, I'm only doing that in one small part of my life, and I'm waiting to see how it turns out before I try it in other areas. I'm getting success about half the time and disaster the other half. I don't think I'll ever figure people out. Its amazing how easy it is to hurt other people accidentally. I'm trying so hard and I keep messing up in ways I never anticipated and then I'm afraid to try again but I'm even more afraid of never trying again. Alright, you have no idea what I'm talking about and I'm not going to say it so I'll just move and think over it for awhile.
What on earth should I move on to? I don't know either and its getting late and I've now spent half an hour away from my precious book right at the climax, no less. The country is on the brink of war, several key characters are in dramatic situations that could lead to success or disaster, and an exciting new prospect has just revealed itself. What shall become of Roran, the villagers, Nusuada, Saphira, and Eragon? Will Galbatorix be successful in his attempt to wipe out the Varden for good, or will they succeed in overthrowing the century-old tyrant? What will Eragon do with his newfound abilities? Will the "black hand" be successful in their assassination attempts, or will the girl-child Elva save Nusuada once again? Are Murtagh and the Twins really dead? Will the dragons face the distinction that would wreak havoc on all three races? Will the drwarves arrive in time to aid Surda in the upcoming battle against Galbatorix? Will Eragon? Is Oromis going to die, and what causes his illness? Will the secret to Galbatorix's increasing power finally be revealed? So you see why I am so engrossed.
I realized, though, that most of these questions will remain unanswered until the release of the third book. Stupid patience.