All the things I didn't say:

I feel SO much happier when you are near. But I'm not me around you. I'm whatever it is I think you would like me to be. I think I remember eveything you say. I think I like you more than all those other ones. I don't want a relationship with you, it could never be better than this fantasy. Your honesty is confounding. When you are upset with me, I feel that I could never escape from the sadness of it. When you compliment me, my heart races like fiery butterflies under my skin. You make my cheeks hurt because I can't stop smiling when I am near you. And I talk too much because I don't want the silence between us. I delight in your facial expressions and the way you smell. I love the way you laugh, and the way you surprise me. I love the way you say my name. You are clever and so caring and open. Your emotions are written all over your face and across your shoulders. I don't want a relationship with you because I could never deserve you. You make me feel good about me. If you were a color, you would be amber. If you were a season, you would be late spring, so full of life and warmth and beauty. And I could talk about you until I ran out of people willing to listen.
I spent a beautiful Sunday with Kaitlynn and Ashley. Happiness has filled all the space not occupied by the stress.
Sarah Jo