Sunday, July 05, 2009

We should eat valconoes for breakfast together.

I like to write. That doesn't mean I need to be articulate all the time.
I'm joyful. That doesn't mean I have to be happy all the time.

So anyway, I'm kind of unhappy right now. And who am I going to tell about it? I'm a liar. Thats what I am. Isn't that what it is when I pretend to be okay and happy when really I'm feeling other things inside? Isn't it lying when I don't tell my own friends how I'm feeling when I'm in the same room with them? When I put on that smile and they don't see the truth behind it? Yep. I'm a liar. But I hate confrontation. Its so much easier to just pretend and then stop hanging around. Thats what I tell myself. But recent experience has taught me that if I just tell him, everything is magically better. He has a freakin invisible magic wand that fixes my feelings. But instead I sat quietly and tried my best to keep it all off my face.

I don't know what would have been the best option. Who ever does?

1 comment:

Anonymous said...

I know exactly what you mean and I am the same. Pretending to be alright. Does this make us bad people? How if I just cannot trust enough to let people know how I feel? I think I am in denial.