Friday, July 24, 2009


I have to leave for work in ten minutes. I need to find a second job because I want to move out so so so bad. This house is completely so much worse than the last one and its driving me crazy. Actually, the people are. I want an apartment. So I was thinking of getting a job at kohls warehouse during the weekend shift. I hope that wouldn't suck too bad. It couldn't suck more than being here, right? Then I could pay down my credit cards for a month or so and then move out. Right? Right. I hope this all works out well.

I think I'll need a roommate. Or roommates. I'll worry about that part later. Right now I'm trying to vent the crazy energy that is the anger I feel for my family right now. And also the stress about money. I wish I had been more responsible. I wish I was more responsible. I just want to go away somewhere. I just want it all to be better. But its not better. There are always, always new problems that make the old problems seem okay.

On the plus side, I finally started tracking my calories again and the very next day (today) I'm down a pound. So, responsibility has its rewards. But I'm thinking this time I need to be held accountable. I'll need help with this. Gotta go!

1 comment:

Ash said...

I feel these same worries and anxieties. I wish I had been more responsible... able to say no to myself and to certain "others". Now I have so many problems and I have to put my life on hold until I get them fixed. I have to wait to go back to school and to move out on my own again, but I will admit it was fun being irresponsible. :)Once I get to this point I would be more than happy to be your roommate.