Wednesday, September 05, 2012

So I met this guy . . .

I met this guy.

I'll back up.

I joined this group on facebook. Single Adult Nerdfighters. I wanted to date, and I thought maybe that group would help me find someone. You know. So I joined. And some of them were talking about being on okcupid and making nerdfighter references in their profiles. So I did that. I made a profile only a nerd-guy would respond to. And I got responses. Some creepy ones, yes. Some guys that clearly only looked at my age and picture, yes. Some that just weren't for me ever ever ever, yes. And then a couple of nerd guys that were the right balance of nerdy and not-too-strange. And John was one of them.

I asked him to meet me pretty quickly. I find it's really easy to form what seems like a connection or intimate relationship over the internet to find that it doesn't translate IRL. So we met, oh, I think probably three or four days after the first message. We met at a local park for disc golf in the morning. Those were all good signs for me. He suggested the place/activity. (I like that.) It was outside and active.(!!!!) He is a morning person. (I am a morning person!) And THEN, he texted me a picture of the park entrance. That let me know that 1.) he was early (I'm always early!) and 2.) he was thoughtful. So I started getting nervous. So so so nervous. Because everything I knew about him up until that point made me feel like he should be dating someone so much better than me.

This is going to sound cliche, and I know it. And I even know that saying "this is going to sound cliche" is in and of itself cliche, but here it is: I knew from the moment I saw him. Honestly. We spent the whole first date in a mutual endeavors to both figure out what on earth could possibly be wrong with each other and also trying not to sound too excited and scare each other off. We talked about everything. Everything everything. And I just liked him more with each new subject.

This guy.

So date two, right? It was five days later. It felt like forever. Too long. And I got nervous again. But he showed up early again and it felt all natural and exciting and safe talking to him again. That date lasted forever . We met at 11am and I think we parted ways at midnight? I invited him back to my house after the million things we did that day. Talking in the car. Arcade games. Laser maze. DDR! Indian food. Walking in the park. Driving around aimlessly. First kiss in the car in a parking lot. Laser tag. Bookstore browsing. Starbucks and card games. Fancy brownie at the fancy grocery story. My place for not-watching a movie. Mexican for dinner. My place for actually watching a movie before not-watching again. I liked him more.

I'm not going to list here all the things we've done for the last month, I just wanted to write the beginning. The beginning of what I get to call my first serious relationship. I wanted to write about my first boyfriend. At 26.

Obviously, I don't know where this is going. I don't know how it will turn out. But I'm super excited to find out. And no matter what end we reach, I'm so glad I met John. I was feeling like I would never meet anyone. My friends were calling me too picky and I thought I must be. I was trying to figure out which was worse: living alone for the rest of my life, or settling with someone who would settle for me. But now I don't think those are the only two options.

I'm not saying John is my person. I'm not saying we'll be together forever and live happily ever after and all that. It's just . . . he is so many things I've been too afraid to even look for in a person. And if all those things exist in John, than even if this doesn't work out for some reason, I won't believe anymore that my expectations are too high. You know?

He is intelligent and nerdy and unashamed of it. He does active things and eats healthy. He is outgoing and talks to others easily and openly. He is honest and communicates his thoughts, feelings, and concerns well. He is caring and considerate and thoughtful and patient. He is upbeat and positive most of the time with an even temperament that doesn't swing drastically from one end of the spectrum to the next. He easily gives words of affirmation. He is funny and silly and kind. He has flaws, of course, but they are the kind I can handle. So far.

And he likes me too. He like-likes me.

So I met this guy.

I don't know how to have a relationship or what comes next or how long it is this exciting. . .

But guys!

I met this guy. And I adore him. And he adores me.
I just wanted to tell you about it.

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